Stand. Up. To. Your. Family. And. Friends. Who. Put. Down. Your. Partner.
I mean if your partner is not someone you just met, and you've been together for many months or YEARS.
I mean if there is no other way... Like standing up to the other people who are running your partner down... Even if those other people are beloved family and friends of yours. If it is not worth it to stand up to them for your partner then that means your partner isn't worth it to you. AS in to you emotionally, not as in "Your partner should leave you"-- this isn't about that.
Your partner shouldn't be ordered to put up with it with a smile while the other people get to pick on them without consequence with or without a smile... while you let them.
It isn't your partner's place to "stand up for themself" in this case. Your family and friends would never believe your partner... they are too biased against your partner to believe a word your partner says.
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