Roses Are Red, revised (had a lot of mistakes before)

Roberta's voicemail to Elton: Today's protest rally

Roses are red,

bear spray is for bears,

the human you sprayed

suffered retinal tears.

If you need to defend yourself

order some mace.

If I see more bear spray

I will cut up your face.

Elton to Roberta: Moron.

Roses are red,

You're not as smart as you think.

If you don't watch your mouth,

you'll end up in the clink.

I happen to know

several cops and a judge.

If you don't show respect

I will beat you to sludge.

Roberta to Elton: Hypocrite.

Roses are red,

You threatened me too.

If today I'm arrested,

tomorrow it's you.

I have talked to your friends

and I know you are bluffing.

Leave me alone

or I'll rip out your stuffing.

Elton to Roberta: Cease and desist.

Roses are red,

Jail is boring.

There isn't good food

or even adequate flooring.

If you don't stop now

I will call the police.

I will get your ass charged

with disturbing my peace.

Roberta to Elton: Protect yourself.

Roses are red

and I happen to know

what happens to those

who ignore my big "No."

I happen to know

you refused the vaccine.

And the jail you're going to

is not that clean.

Elton to Roberta:

Open your eyes, you fucking sheep.

Message:

Roses are red,

covid doesn't exist.

If you mention it more

I will get very pissed.

This only confirms

you're an ignorant twat.

You've got one more chance.

Take that chance while it's hot.

Roberta to Elton: Jail

Message:

Roses are red,

the judge won't be impressed.

If you don't wear a mask

it's like being undressed.

As soon as you enter

the courthouse to fight

the fool you think I am,

the judge will say I'm right.

Elton to Roberta: Face diapers and covid tests

Message:

Roses are red,

You got me arrested.

They're trying to force me

to get myself tested.

I never asked for this.

I do not consent.

When I said there'd be trouble

this is not what I meant.

Roberta to Elton: Tough titmouse.

Message:

Roses are red,

I am laughing so hard.

And now you are playing

the sympathy card.

Elton to Roberta: I'm scared.

Roses are red,

as I lay in my cell

I have a bad cough

and am not feeling well.

You put me in this place.

Please make this shit right.

Please bail me out

by the end of tonight.

Roberta to Elton: Bail fail

Message:

Roses are red,

grapes are sour.

You've been blowing my phone up

for a good hour.

I could give you the number

for a good lawyer, rather--

but right now I'm tired.

I'd rather not bother.

Elton to Roberta: Please help me, this is a medical emergency.

Message:

Roses are red

and I can't catch my breath.

Know that your ass

is the cause of my death.

You got me locked up

without medical care.

Just because what I sprayed you with

was for a bear.

Roberta to Elton: Consequences

Roses are red,

covid isn't a joke.

It isn't my fault

if you suddenly choke.

You denied it existed

and called me a twat.

You are what's twisted

and I am what's not.

Elton to Roberta: Please... follow your conscience!!

Message:

Roses are red,

I am coughing up stuff.

Don't you think by now

that enough is enough?

My lungs are on fire

and you should be too.

You should burn at the stake.

I'm disappointed in you.

Roberta to Elton: Spirituality

Message:

Roses are red,

you can die on your own.

If you need me so much

then why not change your tone?

You're acting entitled.

You are an incel.

After your lungs burn to death

you'll keep burning in hell.

Elton to Roberta: Last words

Roses are red,

I'm in quarantine.

I still don't know why

you are being so mean.

I could have destroyed you

but instead I am talking.

I have every right to.

Don't think about blocking!

Roberta to Elton: Evidence

Roses are red,

and you are now stuck.

Don't bother complaining.

I don't give a fuck.

You refused all the signs

and you kept saying no.

You are lucky you aren't dying

out in the snow.

Elton to Roberta: Please

Message:

Roses are red,

I am in so much pain.

I just hurt over.

It's addling my brain.

I don't feel like eating.

My nose is all runny.

You need to post bail.

This is no longer funny!

Roberta to Elton: Poor you.

Roses are red,

do you even take the test?

You don't sound that bad.

You should see yourself as blessed.

Stop trying to con me

and use guilt and shame.

You think you are clever

but you are just lame.

Elton to Roberta: Call someone for me-- please!

Roses are red,

I am dying in here.

I have pain all over;

my lungs are not clear!

I passed out when I stood up.

I sleep all the time.

This is the direct result

of living in grime.

Roberta to Elton: You have lost your reality.

Message:

Roses are red,

bail's not cheap.

You are one of the ones

that the jail will keep.

I'd just leave you there

even if I could pay.

You need to calm down

when not getting your way.

Roberta to Agatha James, Esq.: Confidential request for council

Message:

Roses are red,

and yes, bear spray's for bears.

But I lied about damage

and nobody cares.

Now everyone hates me.

I'm in some hot water.

I need someone with a wand

like Harry Potter.

My eye doctor confirmed

that the bear spray did nil.

But I told everyone

it's effecting me still.

I dug me a hole

and now I can't get out.

And now those on all sides

think that's what I'm about.

I thought I'd use someone

as a scapegoat to blame

and decided my victim

when Elton took aim.

I washed out my eyes

but I got quite the scare.

I did more destruction

than an actual bear.