Skip to main content

Poem 72: Fussy Asshole

Image
By

 

Fussy Asshole


I hate pizza. I hate anything with egg.

I hate chocolate and anything with milk.

I hate anything that contains nutmeg,

or has a texture like fine silk.


I hate it when anything is slightly burnt

or has a sweet or sour taste.

I’m surprised you haven’t learnt

that making me eat meat is a waste


of your precious time, you know.

I hate pears, peaches, and every berry.

To cake and cookies I say no

and I find dead animals to be scary.


I hate fish, soup, stew and most cereal including

Cheerios, Special K, Mini Wheats and Raisin Bran.

I’m so fussy my bones are protruding

because I’m losing weight, so you know I can.


I may be fussy but you’re a glutton.

You eat everything in sight.

Your butt looks like mutton.

Tell me I’m not right.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You might need a new one. We all do sometimes.

By
To everyone in the world, myself included sometimes: If dehumanizing anyone is part of your religion, you need a new religion. If dehumanizing others is part of your job, then you need a new job. If dehumanizing people was part of your education, then you need a new education. If dehumanizing you is how your family bonds, then you need a new family. If dehumanizing you brings your friends closer together, then you need new friends. If dehumanizing someone is a release for you, then you need a new release. If dehumanizing anyone is a pastime for you, then you need a new pastime. If dehumanizing anyone at all, any sentient being, or everyone, or a few, or certain types, even sometimes, is your lifestyle, then you need a new lifestyle. I would never tell you WHAT lifestyle to have, just pick any one that doesn't involve or include or encourage dehumanization of anyone!
Post a Comment
Read more

Roses Are Red, revised (had a lot of mistakes before)

By
Roberta's voicemail to Elton: Today's protest rally Roses are red, bear spray is for bears, the human you sprayed suffered retinal tears. If you need to defend yourself order some mace. If I see more bear spray I will cut up your face. Elton to Roberta: Moron. Roses are red, You're not as smart as you think. If you don't watch your mouth, you'll end up in the clink. I happen to know several cops and a judge. If you don't show respect I will beat you to sludge. Roberta to Elton: Hypocrite. Roses are red, You threatened me too. If today I'm arrested, tomorrow it's you. I have talked to your friends and I know you are bluffing. Leave me alone or I'll rip out your stuffing. Elton to Roberta: Cease and desist. Roses are red, Jail is boring. There isn't good food or even adequate flooring. If you don't stop now I will call the police. I will get your ass charged with disturbing my peace. Roberta to Elton: Protect yourself. Roses are red and I happe...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm back with a brand new rant about an old AND new issue.

By
The issue is this:  Don't ever call me passive and then expect to remain on good terms with me. "Passive" is not a neutral statement. "Passive" means stupid. "Passive" means incapable. "Passive" means lazy. "Passive" means confused, which basically in this case also means stupid. "Passive" means cowardly. "Passive" means not all there or vegetative. "Passive" can also mean boring, but that's the least of our worries given the other things it means. It is not a neutral term. Use it if you want; I'm not the speech or thought police. But using it on me will cost our friendship. Because just like I can't and would never force you to speak a certain way, you can't ad shouldn't want to force me to take demeaning, degrading treatment. "Passive" is the assumption that I don't have good reasons for being quiet or civil, or that I shouldn't be allowed to choose for myself whe...
Post a Comment
Read more