Judge Me Not
I didn’t mean to kick your ass.
I really didn’t mean to harm.
But when you acted rude and crass
I felt the need to break your arm.
I didn’t mean to eat the cake.
I really didn’t, and I mean it.
I thought it was okay to take
as long as I dry the dish after I clean it.
I didn’t mean to steal your wife.
It was her that wore me down.
She really brightened up my life.
So we just did it when you guys came to town.
I didn’t mean to crash your car.
It just ran out of gas.
It didn’t take me very far.
I needed it to get to class.
I didn’t mean to burn your roast.
Now that it’s burnt, let’s have dessert.
It’s better than being all grossed
out by eating an animal that was hurt.
I didn’t mean to let your yard
get high and overgrown with weeds.
I’m fat and slow and full of lard
and didn’t know your house also had needs.
I didn’t mean to use up all
the paper towels in the roll.
But I suffered a clumsy fall
and spilled my soup and broke the bowl.
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