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Poem 4: Lars In The Stars (NOT about me! This is a hypothetical guy named Lars!)

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Lars In The Stars


My name is Lars.

I’m really cute.

I like driving cars.

I like playing the flute.

I like flirting.

I love to dance.

If you’re hurting

I’m your chance

to discard your bad emotions.

I’m a natural Prozac.

Also discard your notions

of going back

to the way things were in your life before.

I’m a walking happy pill.

I know I’m opening the door

for you to call me mentally ill.

You say I have manic depression

because I used to be depressed.

But really I just got an obsession

with happiness. Please be impressed.

Because I’m great, I’m genuine too.

Don’t think this is an episode.

Don’t think it’s a disease like the flu.

Don’t think that I’m in manic mode.

I’m going to be famous and rich.

I’m going to live happily ever after.

My plans will go without a hitch.

My life will always be full of laughter.

I’m telling you the truth, you know.

Listen if you dare.

I’m not about to go

crazy as a hare.

Call me conceited and deluded.

Call me bipolar if you want.

I’ve just about concluded

that I’ll continue to flaunt

my happiness, joy, whatever you call

my new-but-getting-old zest for life.

Don’t think for a minute that I’ll fall

impaled on my own knife.

I’m too confident and ingenious to make mistakes.

I’m too perfectly at one with God to fail.

I’m not one of those conformist fakes

that follows everyone else’s trail.

I don’t need my meds any more.

So I will not take them at this point.

What are they even for?

They just put my success out of joint.

I don’t want to settle down.

I don’t want to be reeled in.

I don’t want to frown.

So come take me for a spin.

I don’t want to sleep.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

I want a life that’s deep,

a life that matches what’s in my head.

I don’t want to sit.

I don’t want to stand still.

I won’t be in a snit

unless you tell me to take a pill.

I feel like cleaning

the entire house.

My life has meaning.

Please don’t douse

my happiness with medication

that “stabilizes” my mood,

makes an alteration

that makes me eat more food.

I think it’s time

I lost some weight.

I choose to climb

up the walls until it’s late.

I understand

the universe.

It’s in my hand.

It could be worse.

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