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Poem 3: Avolition

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Avolition


I wish I could be energetic.

I wish I could sing and dance.

But I’m just pathetic

even when I get a chance.

I wish I could write 20 novels

and make a lot of cash.

I wish I didn’t live in hovels.
I wish I could take out the trash.

I wish I could clean my bathroom.

I wish I could just pass the mop

and while I’m at it, pass the broom.

I wish my mood was right on top.

I wish I was more exciting-crazy.

I wish I wasn’t an empty shell.

I wish I wasn’t lazy

and didn’t think I was in hell.

I wish my antidepressants worked.

I wish I could get more of those.

I wish that no depression lurked

and I could be in the mood I chose.

I wish I wasn’t so avolitioned

like a whale on the beach.

I wish my brain was not partitioned

and that I could practice what I preach.

I wish I could just do the work

required of a human being.

I wish I wasn’t such a jerk,

that people were liking what they were seeing.

I wish I was exciting… better manic than depressed.

I wish I could take the helpful advice

and just discard the rest,

without being cold as ice.

I wish I wasn’t a cold fish.

I’d rather make mistakes than do nothing at all.

If I could just get this one wish

I wouldn’t even mind the fall

that comes when the good is done,

when you’ve finally run out of steam.

I have no steam, no passion, no fun.

Well, it’s kind of fun to dream.


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