Avolition
I wish I could be energetic.
I wish I could sing and dance.
But I’m just pathetic
even when I get a chance.
I wish I could write 20 novels
and make a lot of cash.
I wish I didn’t
live in hovels.
I wish I could take out the trash.
I wish I could clean my bathroom.
I wish I could just pass the mop
and while I’m at it, pass the broom.
I wish my mood was right on top.
I wish I was more exciting-crazy.
I wish I wasn’t an empty shell.
I wish I wasn’t lazy
and didn’t think I was in hell.
I wish my antidepressants worked.
I wish I could get more of those.
I wish that no depression lurked
and I could be in the mood I chose.
I wish I wasn’t so avolitioned
like a whale on the beach.
I wish my brain was not partitioned
and that I could practice what I preach.
I wish I could just do the work
required of a human being.
I wish I wasn’t such a jerk,
that people were liking what they were seeing.
I wish I was exciting… better manic than depressed.
I wish I could take the helpful advice
and just discard the rest,
without being cold as ice.
I wish I wasn’t a cold fish.
I’d rather make mistakes than do nothing at all.
If I could just get this one wish
I wouldn’t even mind the fall
that comes when the good is done,
when you’ve finally run out of steam.
I have no steam, no passion, no fun.
Well, it’s kind of fun to dream.
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