Poem 104: My Ernst (kinda explicit)

My Ernst

My Ernst is a Scandinavian dream.

I really want to consume his cream.

I know I sound like such a whore

but what is sex drive really for

if it isn’t for us to reproduce.

The only way to do that is to be a little loose.

I’m not the type to wait on my porch

for someone passing by to light my eyes up like a torch.

I go out and I actively seek.

I’m so done with being humble and meek.

I’m turning 40 this coming year.

My Ernst will bring me good cheer

and a little something extra to carry.

I’ve tried every Tom, Dick and Harry

but my Ernst is the best by far,

from the six-pack to the blue eyes to the sports car.

Comments

You might need a new one. We all do sometimes.

To everyone in the world, myself included sometimes: If dehumanizing anyone is part of your religion, you need a new religion. If dehumanizing others is part of your job, then you need a new job. If dehumanizing people was part of your education, then you need a new education. If dehumanizing you is how your family bonds, then you need a new family. If dehumanizing you brings your friends closer together, then you need new friends. If dehumanizing someone is a release for you, then you need a new release. If dehumanizing anyone is a pastime for you, then you need a new pastime. If dehumanizing anyone at all, any sentient being, or everyone, or a few, or certain types, even sometimes, is your lifestyle, then you need a new lifestyle. I would never tell you WHAT lifestyle to have, just pick any one that doesn't involve or include or encourage dehumanization of anyone!

Roses Are Red, revised (had a lot of mistakes before)

Roberta's voicemail to Elton: Today's protest rally Roses are red, bear spray is for bears, the human you sprayed suffered retinal tears. If you need to defend yourself order some mace. If I see more bear spray I will cut up your face. Elton to Roberta: Moron. Roses are red, You're not as smart as you think. If you don't watch your mouth, you'll end up in the clink. I happen to know several cops and a judge. If you don't show respect I will beat you to sludge. Roberta to Elton: Hypocrite. Roses are red, You threatened me too. If today I'm arrested, tomorrow it's you. I have talked to your friends and I know you are bluffing. Leave me alone or I'll rip out your stuffing. Elton to Roberta: Cease and desist. Roses are red, Jail is boring. There isn't good food or even adequate flooring. If you don't stop now I will call the police. I will get your ass charged with disturbing my peace. Roberta to Elton: Protect yourself. Roses are red and I happe...

I'm back with a brand new rant about an old AND new issue.

The issue is this: Don't ever call me passive and then expect to remain on good terms with me. "Passive" is not a neutral statement. "Passive" means stupid. "Passive" means incapable. "Passive" means lazy. "Passive" means confused, which basically in this case also means stupid. "Passive" means cowardly. "Passive" means not all there or vegetative. "Passive" can also mean boring, but that's the least of our worries given the other things it means. It is not a neutral term. Use it if you want; I'm not the speech or thought police. But using it on me will cost our friendship. Because just like I can't and would never force you to speak a certain way, you can't ad shouldn't want to force me to take demeaning, degrading treatment. "Passive" is the assumption that I don't have good reasons for being quiet or civil, or that I shouldn't be allowed to choose for myself whe...

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