It all happened because I accidentally got turned around at the Delaware House and went out the northbound door instead of the southbound one, and ended up catching a bus back to New York rather than down to Texas, where I planned to see my family.
I figured I’d better go on a tour of New York before buying another ticket to Texas, as this was probably meant to be. Well, if it was meant to be, then that means God has cursed me.
I was feeling blissfully, stupidly, naively good, hauling my bags of impulse buying back to the bus station, when a truck ran into seven people and squashed them like pancakes.
I leapt up onto the steps of a nearby building so the truck couldn’t get me. And I stood there and watched long after the truck crashed and a guy shot the guy inside. I didn’t help the injured people. I just watched.
Turns out people were filming it and my family saw me on YouTube standing there like a dummy. It’s all over the internet.
They then wondered what I was doing in New York when I was supposed to be on a bus to Texas.
They then hacked into my Facebook account and read all my messages, including the ones where I had to convince my friend Delbert not to shoot up a shopping mall in a crowded city like New York, and where I clearly told him I wouldn’t help him do it like he had requested, and to please not do it, as I was his friend and didn’t want him to die.
But my fucking dad, only remembering the negative (or what was negative in his eyes)… that I kept Delbert as a friend and kept talking to him after that conversation.
So my fucking mom; she calls the cops and tells them she thinks me and Delbert are planning on shooting up a place in a big city. And when I finally get on the bus to Texas, I get pulled off it almost immediately by the SWAT team.
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